You know what that sound means? They're on the way. Children rushing to windows to catch a glimpse, adults hurriedly moving along to attend to neglected civil duties. Cause when these boys drop by the neighborhood, it's ill-advised for anybody to look too far out of place. Yes, we're referring to the infamous Rat Patrol. Formed some years back by the since disbanded city council. Taking their name from the old television series, a favorite of the Patrol's enigmatic leader -- one Chuck Sterling, and highly fitting considering their primary mission of locating, identifying and 're-educating' various rodent congregations throughout the city. Wasn't long though before they branched out in any number of other 'public service' capacities. Diversifying their efforts both horizontally and vertically among the city's many diverse populations and industries. Reinventing themselves at every turn. They've even got their own theme song. Written to distinguish themselves from some of the less imaginative wannabes that always seem to sprout up during these opportune times. Goes a little something like this... Here we come, we're the Rat Patrol Here we come and there they go. Going to find us some rats Be-cau-au-ause that's What we're paid to do. But that's not all for the Rat Patrol We're on a mission to take control Better not let us catch You-ou-ou-ou on our stretch We don't know what we'd do. (But you do.) Pretty cool, huh? Especially when heard in full force -- backed by a heavy guitar riff that could've been laid down by Link Wray himself, accompanied by the sound of roaring engines, skidding tires, and megaphone-enhanced shout outs to the locals. Quite the show. Wonder what brings them to this neck of the woods. They generally make these random inspections known well beforehand -- affording everyone ample opportunity to have plenty of cash and freshly baked goods on hand -- the well-reported sure-fire recipe for currying what favor may be available and fending off possible inquiries into one's state of affairs. Better for everyone if all parties are in compliance, really. These Patrollers would rather not have to take an interest in things they have no real interest in. Red tape. Paperwork. Overtime. And who do you think ends up footing the bill in the end? Hmmm? Best to avoid the whole ordeal and pay up front. Think of it as an investment in the new order. Everything has its price, you know... Clearly all is not business as usual today though. Seems some new directive is circumventing the usual pay-as-you-go policy. Normal protocol being forsaken for a distinctively more sinister set of procedures. The air-raid siren awakening from its resting place to announce the commencement of a whole new era of carefully planned round-ups. With their long check-list at the ready, our heroes go from door to door to fend off sobbing family members and gather our newly-decreed criminal element into the ol' paddy wagon -- recently converted from the long-beloved local ice-cream truck (still bearing a number of giddy and ghoulish images on the side)...enough to put one off the whole idea of frozen foods. And before anybody can get a firm grip on what has actually occurred, the Rat Patrol has already moved on to the next grid on their ever-evolving map of the region. Fighting their never-ending battle to preserve the peace and carve out a decent and respectable piece of the future to cultivate our great prosperity. Just a bunch of solid citizens answering the call to a higher authority. Gotta admire that kind of work ethic. . . . So another episode comes to close. With the usual collection of re-captured images and foreshadowings of what we can all look forward to in the next installment. A sweet variation of that theme song replaying with the credits. Fading from view with an assurance that manages to convey the confident awareness that this captive audience will all be tuning in next time around. Same time. Same station. Stay tuned for your nightly newscast and other local Programming. Tonight's line-up should be a gas.